Students Can’t Believe They’re Actually Sitting In Class With Denison University Starting Quarterback Luke Pavlatos
GRANVILLE, OH—In what many described as “pretty incredible,” students at Denison University expressed disbelief Friday after realizing they were actually sitting in the same English 225 class as none other than the school’s starting quarterback, Luke Pavlatos. “Holy shit, Pav is here,” said sophomore Jared Stasio, who admitted it was difficult to fathom that he was sitting just two seats away from the very quarterback who commands Big Red at Piper Field. “Oh my God, number 8. He’s taking a class just like us. I can’t believe that they even make him go to class. I mean you hear his name all the time and I guess you forget he’s still a regular student like everybody else. I just hope I don’t say anything stupid in front of him.” At press time, the students confirmed that despite being the “King of Denison,” Pavlatos was “so down to earth.”
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Be nice to throw Kathryn Bigelow a bone Chance for Obama to put an exclamation point on an already great year It’s been a while since we did one of these things AGAINST: Someone might be hurt, or even die Could turn Russia and Iran against U.S. History Fear of setting a precedent of military action without U.N. approval Slight, almost infinitesimal chance intervention might be a completely ineffectual act that even further destabilizes the region, touching off massive anti-American sentiment while allowing jihadist radicals to take power Painful memories of intervening in Rwandan genocide It’s hard Bashar al-Assad just had a baby. A baby! Bush invaded a foreign country.
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